A cat’s dinner

Fine feline dining

Chef: “Bonsoir Monsieur, a table for one?”

Cat approaches food bowls and sniffs suspiciously

Chef: “Perhaps Monsieur would like to try the tasting menu this evening? We have a delectable salmon mousse, an organic chicken liver terrine, followed by tender morsels of rabbit in a delicious sauce, polished off with mixed seafood luxury crunchy bites in charming shapes and washed down with spring water with essence of tuna.”

Cat makes obscene gesture with paw over the food, miming covering up his own excrement with soil

Chef: “What’s that you say Monsieur: ‘Do I seriously expect you to eat this s**t?'”

Cat swaggers over to catflap, meows something over his shoulder and dives out, leaving it swinging like a saloon bar door

Chef: “Ahh, you’d rather have take away tonight then?”

Moments later cat returns, dragging a piece of naan bread dipped in chicken vindaloo through the catflap and begins devouring it in a damp corner

Chef sighs, grabs spoon and considers terrine for a split second, before tearing off apron and slumping onto the sofa.